A few nights back the kids and I were in the car and Pandora radio was tuned in to my 80’s pop station. The first few beats of Billy Idol’s “White Wedding” played and four-year-old Aurora exclaimed, “I love this song!” She went on, “Come on and dance with me!” I laughed. I think it’s awesome that she loves 80’s music. Since we were nearly home, we did the thing where we sat in the parked car in the driveway for a bit to listen to more of the song. She sang along, “…nice day for a white wedding!”
(Rehearsal dinner at Tequila's in Marion, IL: 6/9/2006)
Chris first got me into 80’s music when we were teenagers driving around in his car. To be honest, I didn’t like it at all but it grew on me. His car was almost always tuned to “WISH FM: The best of the ‘80’s, ‘90’s and Today”. When we got married in 2006 “White Wedding” was one of the songs we played at our reception. We danced and were amused by the play on words because Aimee White was getting married…
It’s interesting and sweet now having a child who likes things her daddy liked even though they never met. November 19, Aurora Kay came out of my body and into my hands, five months after Chris died. The previous June, I’d made his body promises in the ER that I would raise both my babies to know him to the best of my ability. Some of Aurora’s interests in things her daddy liked are because of me—such as ‘80’s music or superhero stuff. Yet there are other things which cannot be explained by nurture. She dances (in a bizarre fashion!) when there isn’t any music playing because she has music in her brain. If you knew Chris, that’s very much something she got from him. Another thing she does that is all Chris is the uncanny ability to make the goofiest face in the world out of nowhere just to make you laugh. Then 20 seconds later she will make a different, equally random face and you won’t be able to keep it together. She did this recently while we were at a middle school music program… My boyfriend and I were struggling HARD not to laugh out loud. I couldn’t keep a straight face long enough to look stern and tell her to knock it off.
(Pregnancy announcement 4/2014)
My husband died. I cannot see him, touch him, or talk to him the way I once did. Yet in the children I was given, I still experience pieces of his personality. I still see glimpses of his face. Chris’ arms don’t wrap around me in hug anymore, but I have two sets of little girl arms that hug me several times each day. A horrific thing happened to our family four-and-a-half years ago, but I have these beautiful treasures. I have our daughters, first and foremost—people that our love knit together. I have all the memories of our eleven years of love. I have letters, cards, photographs, and other keepsakes.
(Exactly one year after I found out I was pregnant. 3/17/15)
Beyond all this, the Lord has even seen fit to give me love again. He’s put someone in my life who comes with an amazing daughter, who loves me, and who loves the children that were given to me by Chris. My Creator God is faithful.